CHAOS IN CONFECTIONARY KINGDOM AS MARS ATTACKS
The ongoing chocolate wars intensified this morning as Mars rebels unleashed a Cluster of Sour Bombs, strapped to a Double Decker, which were set off in the southern province of Bourneville just After Eight.
Early peace talks received a Boost as consul Willy Wonka met with rebel leaders to discuss a Time Out from the troubles, but these wishes soon began to Flake and now leaders are worried they could turn on a Dime. Thousands of homes were evacuated in the south, but some Drifters remain, continuing to roam the streets despite the danger. News cameras on location captured the emotionally charged scenes. In one video, insurgents Snicker as they take a Kinder egg by Surprise. Another shows tears flowing freely in the streets as a Fisherman's Friend is found dead. The southern residents react with anger as the rebels use their mobile phones to post graphic footage onto the internet as a Walnut is brutally Whipped.
World leaders have expressed their sadness at the latest Twist in the ongoing saga of unrest in the Confectionary Kingdom, as the unravelling situation becomes a hot Topic in international politics. Gordon Brown has described the rebel leaders as "smarties". When asked what could be done to resolve the situation, President Obama admitted "it will take Allsorts to solve this problem".
More as the story develops.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
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